Reflection.

I've been doing a lot of that lately. 

What do I want?

Who do I want to be?

When do I need to have this all figured out?

How am I supposed to survive everything I'm going through on my own?

Where do I want to go next?

With everything on my mind as it has been recently. 

I took on the role of a hardened rock. 

I began to believe that I didn't need help.

I began to believe that if I accepted help, I would cave.

 I began to think of receiving help as a sign of weakness.

I care so much for others that I often forget that I too can be cared for.

My shoulder's began to get heavy.

I began to accept my sunken chest and loss of hope.

A person can only last so long standing on there own.

You see

people NEED people

and I needed so deeply

and just like that I received 

Life has a funny way of throwing people into the mix when you most need them.

Someone who somehow made me believe once again.

Hope once again.

And accept that I am deserving.

Just last night I was awakened, so to speak,

 by an acquaintance who I am fortunate enough to have 

in my corner and on my side. 

With this awakening I realized that I am afraid.

Scared.

Afraid to lean on someone, because I am afraid to fall.

I lack trust in humanity

and sadly

I lack trust in love

But a funny thing happens when you realize 

and confront

a fear

It becomes irrational 

minuscule

And how did someone help me realize this?

A very long conversation.

And a very convincing statement.

A statement that brought tears to my eyes

and a new hope to everything I have been lacking.

This statement is one I will be eternally grateful for.

One that I will cherish.

And that person
I will forever appreciate.
  

 ________________________________

You are beautiful.
 I meant it. I've meant it every time I said it.

But lets go past that, physical beauty doesn't last.

You are beautiful Melissa. You. Not your looks. You are.
The person you are.

You make the world a better place.

I told you that before, I am saying it again.
It is true.

You love so much, you give so much of yourself.

Part of love, and a part it took me forever to learn,
is letting the people you love love you back.

It's a huge part of it.

You deserve to be loved Melissa.

You do.

Well.

With every breath of someone.

You won't let anyone right now it seems.

Maybe your logic is solid, maybe it's flawed.
That doesn't matter.

You still deserve to be loved.

And I know you are.

Let the people who do, do it.
 

Let someone put their arms around you when you hurt.

Let someone help you lift a heavy burden.

Let someone show you they love you too.

It's not a one way street. It was never meant to be.

You are beautiful Melissa.

___________________________________________

 

:)